What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. But, does it really? If you’re looking for some witty Las Vegas captions I have them here. Use these perfect Las Vegas captions, Las Vegas puns, Las Vegas captions about gambling, and funny quotes about Las Vegas for your photos. 

When the buffets and slot machines leave you speechless these Las Vegas captions will put the words in your mouth. 

Get your poker face ready and let’s proceed with our 198 captions about Las Vegas. 

Las Vegas captions Pinterest pin. Text says Las Vegas Instagram captions.

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Las Vegas Captions 

Vegas is always a good idea! 

Keep calm and go to Vegas.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. 

Goodbye reality, hello Vegas! 

Follow your heart, even if it takes you all the way to Las Vegas. 

Seriously, why tour the world when all you have to do is visit Las Vegas and see all the 

highlights in one location? 

Las Vegas…. Already looking forward to next time. 

I think Vegas looks pretty good on me. 

A little place called Las Vegas.

You never forget your first day in Las Vegas. 

Everyone needs a little Las Vegas in their life.

Funny Las Vegas Captions 

Funny Las Vegas captions photo of  fountain show in front of a Las Vegas hotel.

Good girls go to Heaven, bad girls go to Vegas. 

Screw this sh*t; I’m going to Vegas, b*tches! 

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, then people would stop dying.

In Vegas, it’s not pre-drinking, it’s brunch.

We’re not alcoholics. Alcoholics go to meetings. We’re drunks. Drunks go to Vegas.

I can’t wait to be ashamed of what we do in LAS VEGAS!

I apologize in advance for my behavior in Vegas.

I got a ton of memories in Las Vegas I can’t talk about! 

You can’t buy happiness, but I think I found it right here.

You can’t buy happiness, but you can go to Vegas and that’s kind of the same thing.

Las Vegas Quotes 

“Las Vegas is the only place I know where money really talks – it says Goodbye.”- Frank Sinatra 

“Seriously, why tour the world when all you have to do is visit Las Vegas and see all the highlights in one location?”-Jeff Maguire “

Follow your heart, even if it takes you all the way to Las Vegas.”

Las Vegas looks the way you would imagine heaven must look at night.”- Chuck Palahniuk

“It seems strange to say this, but it is true: Coming back to Vegas to work is like going on vacation for me.”- Celine Dion

“Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.”- Artie Lange

“Sometimes I think I need to get crazy. Go to Vegas.”- Chris Pine 

“It’s hard to imagine a bigger desert oasis than Las Vegas.”- Cinnamon Stomberger

Las Vegas is a city built on hopes, dreams, and a little bit of crazy.”- Michael McDonald 

“Las Vegas – my favorite desert mirage.”- Val Saintsbury

Short Las Vegas Quotes 

Short Las Vegas quotes photo of the Las Vegas Blvd street sign.

Las Vegas state of mind.

VEGAS, BABY! 

Viva Las Vegas. 

Vegas way of life.

Vegas, here I come! 

Sin city. 

Meanwhile, in Vegas… 

Shiniest place on Earth. 

The sky’s the limit. 

Ready. Set. Vegas. 

Desert rose. 

It’s not drinking, it’s brunch. 

Alexa, take me to Las Vegas

My soul lives in Vegas.

Captions About Las Vegas 

Vegas isn’t a City, it’s its own magical world. 

Vegas is the answer no matter the question. 

City of lights, smiles, and memories. 

The night is on my side. 

I am in love with this city. 

No one sleeps in Las Vegas

It’s always a good time for Vegas. 

Always say yes to Las Vegas.

The shiniest mirage. 

I just love coming to Vegas. There is always good energy here; the minute you get off the plane, it is happy.

I can’t wait to be ashamed of what we do in Las Vegas.

Funny Quotes About Las Vegas For Instagram 

“Las Vegas is the boiling pot of entertainment.”- Don Rickles    

“I love Vegas. God knows that I know how to find my way around the buffets in Las Vegas.”- Mick Majerus  

“While I was busy hating Vegas and hiding from Vegas, a funny thing happened. I grew to love Vegas.”- J. R. Moehringer

“Vegas is everything that’s right with America.”- Drew Carey

“I hate to break this to you, but Las Vegas is like an actual city. They have grocery stores, big-box retailers, schools, and everything. I mean, there is even a stoplight or two! It’s crazy.” – Adam Rank

“Las Vegas without Wayne Newton is like Disneyland without Mickey Mouse.” – Merv Griffin

“Las Vegas, the most expensive toilet in the world that still can’t flush.”- Brin-Jonathan Butler

“Every time I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.” – Artie Lange 

“Boy, you get greedy in Las Vegas.” – Louie Anderson 

“Las Vegas is sort of like how God would do it if he had money.”- Steve Wynn

“Las Vegas is like being inside of a trashy-fun snow globe.”- Linette Lopez

“The people who say New York never sleeps must have never visited Las Vegas.”- Michelle 

Madow 

“Boy, you get greedy in Vegas, you know. That’s the only place that you can bet $25, get it up to $500 and refuse to quit.” – Louie Anderson

“It is not easy to get rich in Las Vegas, at Churchill Downs, or at the local Merrill Lynch office.” – Paul Samuelson

“In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.”- Steven Wright

“I shouldn’t be near Vegas and have money in my pocket.”- Adam Sandler

“The view from the window, particularly if you enjoy neon, is extraordinary.”- Chris Bachelder 

“Las Vegas: all the amenities of modern society in a habitat unfit to grow a tomato.” – Jason Love

Captions For Instagram About Las Vegas  

Captions For Instagram About Las Vegas of the Las Vegas strip.

Las Vegas is always in my mind. 

Vegas lights and beautiful nights. 

The Entertainment Capital of The World. 

We’re coming for you Vegas. 

The city of second chances. 

P.S. I love you Vegas. 

Happiness is a weekend in Vegas. 

Thank you Vegas for making me feel so alive.

I found my paradise in Vegas. 

Vegas nights and beautiful nights. 

Las Vegas Captions About Gambling 

I make my own luck. 

Life is a gamble. 

Go rich, come home richer! 

Life is more fun with games. 

Poker face. 

Slots and fun times.

Keep calm and play poker. 

Just here for the gambling. 

Never bet against the house. 

Going to Vegas and not gambling is like going to a restaurant and not eating.

Because if you’re not winning, then what are you doing?

Funny Las Vegas Quotes About Gambling 

Funny Las Vegas Quotes About Gambling photo of dice.

“It is impossible to change your luck. But, you can always change the machine you are at!”- James Hauenstein 

“I only ever play Vegas one night at a time. It’s a hideous, gaudy place; it may not be the end of the world per se, but you can certainly see it from there.”- Robin Williams

“Everything’s a gamble, love most of all.” – Tess Gerritsen

“It’s hard to walk away from a winning streak, even harder to leave the table when you’re on a losing one.” – Cara Bertola 

“The greatest risk is not taking one.” – Tim Fargo

“If you can’t beat them, bluff them.” – N.R. Kudelis

“Gambling isn’t fun; winning is fun.”- Steven Brust 

“All life is a gamble and our lives are the dice we throw.” – Marty Rubin

“I don’t gamble, if you will concede that poker is a game of skill.” – Robert A. Heinlein

“For a loser, Vegas is the meanest town on earth.”- Hunter S. Thompson

Short Las Vegas Quotes For Instagram 

“In Las Vegas, nothing ends very well.”- Walter Wykes 

“I hate Disneyland. It primes our kids for Las Vegas.”- Tom Waits 

“Vegas is a celebration.”- Jose Andres  

Las Vegas, Nevada: a city where oddities don’t make you lame, but instead bring you riches and fortune and fame.”- Walter Wykes

“Las Vegas is a 24-hour city. It never stops.”- Eli Roth 

“Las Vegas – my favorite desert mirage.”- Val Saintsbury 

“Las Vegas is a feast or famine kind of city.”- Kevin Raiford 

“I love Las Vegas because it’s the one city less classy than Los Angeles.”- J. Richard Singleton

Famous Las Vegas Quotes

“There’s just no quiet in Vegas.”- Barry Manilow  

“It’s always nice to be paid to be in Las Vegas.” – Iliza Shlesinger

“Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.”- Jonathan Clements 

“A little bit of this town goes a very long way.”- Hunter S. Thompson

Las Vegas Captions For Instagram 

Las Vegas Captions For Instagram photo of a fountain show.

Here I get a break from my own thoughts. 

Vegas hair, don’t care. 

Wake me up when I’m in Las Vegas. 

Heading to Las Vegas, be back never. 

In Las Vegas, it’s hard to decide which of the things you swore you’d never do again you’re going to do first.  

Vegas is my therapy. 

Feelin’ lucky in Las Vegas. 

Cue the confetti and casino lights!

Las Vegas is Disneyland for adults. 

Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada.

Quotes About Las Vegas 

“Everything and anything you want to do – you can do it in Las Vegas.”- Drew Carey 

“If you know how to live in Vegas you can have the best time.”- Tony Curtis 

“Las Vegas is perhaps the most color-blind, class-free place in America. As long as your cash or credit line holds out, no one gives a damn about your race, gender, national origin, sexual orientation, address, family lineage, voter registration or even your criminal arrest record. Money is the great leveler.” – Marc Cooper

“Las Vegas is the most honest fake city in the world.”- Frank Scoblete 

“Las Vegas suggests that the thirst for places, for cities and gardens and wilderness, is unslaked, that people will still seek out the experience of wandering about in the open air to examine the architecture, the spectacles, and the stuff for sale, will still hanker after surprises and strangers.” – Rebecca Solnit

“Las Vegas: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream.”- Hunter S. Thompson

“Las Vegas is a very strange place. It’s a place of broken dreams.”- Concha Buika

“No one thinks Las Vegas is real; it is illusion, but visitors willingly suspend disbelief and pretend.”- Hal Rothman38    

“I think the problem with Vegas is Las Vegas is trying to escape from itself, either rewrite history or make new history. All these properties that started Las Vegas, nothing’s there anymore.” – Cory Cooper

“Las Vegas is the entertainment capital of the world, where sleep is a mere inconvenience interrupting a continuous stream of fun and hedonism, and where everything is bigger, louder, flashier and trashier than anywhere else in the world.” – Jackie Staddon & Hilary Weston

“Las Vegas makes Reno seem like your friendly neighborhood grocery store.”- Hunter S. Thompson 

“I go to Las Vegas–or at least I went to Las Vegas–because even though I knew everything that was sinister, calculating, and evil about it, I loved Las Vegas. Only in Vegas could I dare to fantasize that I was a friend of Frank.” – Marc Cooper

“There is nothing but desert and rugged mountains all around, and then–in the middle of it all–one of the largest and fastest-growing cities in the United States… truly an enigma.”- Thomas Taj Ainlay

“The secret of Vegas is that money is boring. Hence all the bluster.” – Jace Clayton 

“Vegas must be a great town for Laundromats. Nobody lives there, everybody is just passing through, leaving a little bit of dirt.”- John Updike 

“Contemporary Las Vegas is astonishing. At night, it is a brilliant cluster of jewels of all shapes, sizes, and colors, glowing in the middle of a vast, black velvet canopy. By day, it is also an amazing sight, almost like a mirage. There is nothing but desert and rugged mountains all around, and then- in the middle of it all – one of the largest and fastest growing cities in the United States… truly an enigma.”- Thomas  Taj  Ainlay

“Las Vegas is the only town in the world whose skyline is made up neither of buildings, like New York, nor of trees, like Wilbraham, Massachusetts, but signs.”- Tom Wolfe 

“Las Vegas history, the real Las Vegas history, makes fops and fools of even the most sincere explorers. The city’s story is riddled with blind alleys, dead ends, crazy twists, and outright fabrication.”- John L. Smith

Las Vegas Quotes From Movies 

Las Vegas Quotes From Movies photo of the famous Las Vegas sign that says "Welcome to fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada."

“Remember what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That sh*t’ll come back with you.”- The Hangover 

“You’re either in or you’re out. Right now.”- Ocean’s Eleven 

“Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird about having to ask you twice.”- The Hangover

“Why don’t you give me half the money you were going to bet, we’ll go out back, I’ll kick you in the nuts, and we’ll call it a day.”- Vegas Vacation

“Why can’t we remember anything that happened last night?”- The Hangover 

“I haven’t seen so many sideburns since West Side Story.”- Honeymoon in Vegas

Las Vegas Quotes From Songs 

“I’m just the Devil with love to spare Viva Las Vegas”- Elvis Presley, ‘Viva Las Vegas’ 

“On a Saturday night. Leaving Las Vegas. Leaving for good, for good”- Sheryl Crow, ‘Leaving Las Vegas’ 

“When I go to Vegas.”- Calvin Harris, ‘Vegas’ 

‘Till we get to Las Vegas (Party, do it ’till tomorrow) Vegas”- Eminem, ‘Vegas’

Puns About Las Vegas For Instagram 

Las Vegas is no desert Mirage

The magnificent Seven Magic Mountains.

Alcohol you later! 

Going, going, gondola!

The spouse always wins. 

Let the chips fall where they may. 

Hoover Dam, I’m glad to be in Nevada!

I’m in no hurry to leave. Let’s Mandalay our departure for a day or two.

I saw the neon sign and it opened up my eyes.

More Las Vegas Puns For Instagram 

Vegas stole a pizza of my heart. 

I’m on a Vegas diet. 

Keep calm and play poker. 

The Skyfall’s the limit. 

Texas Fold-em”71. 

I saw the neon sign and it opened up my eyes.

Whatever floats your gondola.

May the flop be with you. 

Come on baby light my Valley of Fire.

Leaving Las Vegas Quotes  

Leaving Las Vegas Quotes photo of the Las Vegas strip lit up at night.

“What happens in Vegas, I’m telling everyone.”- Dane Cook  

“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas…but that doesn’t matter when you live there.”- Michelle Madow

“Las Vegas is the suicide capital of America … and not everyone who comes here leaves here. Sometimes, what happens in Vegas truly stays in Vegas.”- Paul W. Papa

“I don’t think anyone leaves Las Vegas rejuvenated, their skin shining, their bank accounts glowing. No one leaves Vegas, like, ‘I didn’t make one mistake. That felt great. Back to work.”- Iliza Shlesinger 

“What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas…along with my dignity and liver.”-Unknown

“If you aim to leave Las Vegas with a small fortune, go there with a large one.”- Unknown

Las Vegas Captions Conclusion

Were you able to keep a straight face reading these Las Vegas captions? Tell me in the comments below which Vegas photo captions, captions for Vegas, Las Vegas trip quotes, and Las Vegas quotes from movies you liked the most. Also, besides these Sin City captions, I have a Las Vegas guide with all the top spots to visit during your trip.

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